When fall turns to winter and the temperatures drop and I look outside the window at 4pm and it’s already getting dark outside, it’s hard not to feel unmotivated. I find myself extremely sensitive to the colder months, and not just because I’m cold ALL THE TIME! It seems to take a lot more effort to do normal things when it’s snowing or perpetually dark, and that’s before you factor in my health struggles and subsequent anxiety that pops up from time to time. Once you combine it all, motivation flies right out the window.
I’m my harshest critic. I fall into these slumps where it seems like my to-do list is so long that I don’t even want to try to cross things off it it and the voice inside me is so judgmental, which makes things even more discouraging. But you know what? I’m doing the best I can.
Sometimes you have to remind yourself of that. It doesn’t mean you’re doing everything you need to do and it doesn’t mean that your to-do list is all crossed off, but it does mean that you deserve to cut yourself a little bit of slack. Not too much, because everything on that list does need to be accomplished, but enough that you can find your own motivation from a place of self-love.
For the last few days my body’s been rebelling: full-body inflammation with bad bad headaches, sore joints, and a general exhaustion that makes me feel like I’ve been deflated and like all my energy has gone out the (dark/cold) window. It sucks. But I woke up this morning, and even though I’m still not feeling my best and it’s cold and snowy outside I said over and over “I’m doing my best.” By showing myself some love and compassion, I was able to get up out of bed, shower, and take a few things from my to-do list and make plans to tackle them today.
So just a general reminder to everyone (and to their inner critics): it may not look like it on the outside, it may not look like I have it all together, but on the inside I’m stronger and making plans to be the best I can be. Just you wait.